The four horsemen of the apocalypse

And you will know their names

four horsemen of the apocalypse, in Christianity, the four horsemen who, according to the book of Revelation (6:1–8), appear with the opening of the first four of the seven seals that bring forth the cataclysm of the apocalypse. The first horseman, a conqueror with a bow and crown, rides a white horse, which scholars sometimes interpret to symbolise Christ or the Antichrist; the second horseman is given a great sword and rides a red horse, symbolising war and bloodshed; the third carries a balance scale, rides a black horse, and symbolises famine; and the fourth horseman rides a pale horse and is identified as Death.

The First Horsemen is Elon Musk the conquerer of Space and electric vehicles, bringer of Twitter free speech rides in a White Tesla.

The second is Donald Trump wearing a Red hat, slaying the Democrats while making friends with Chyna.

The third Jordan Peterson in a two tone suit, pretending to be the father you never had and the teacher you always wanted.

The fourth will be known as Joe Rogan. The bro, the gym buddy you can smoke cigars with and microdose shrooms while watching UFC.

Upon sight of these four in the same room the apocalypse will appear between exaggerated beer commercials.